Piece in Chaos

I feel as though I am dancing a dance I do not know the steps to. One step forward, two steps back. In light, in darkness. In time, out of time.

Over the past years I feel as though I’m transitioning into a new phase, a more awakened existence, and then I fall asleep.

Isn’t it strange?

The inner nature yearns to be seen and accepted. Yearning for the best version to be held and lived, only to wonder if that’s real at all.

I seem blocked from letting my light shine.

Yet light beams on every flaw and imperfection – the processing, the cleaning and the emotional reactions play out strongly.

I am trying to find my own truth, away from suffering.

I am trying to find my peace.

“There is a fascinating chaos to life; but there is always a message in the mess… always.”

― Steve Maraboli

But who am I?

An adventurer. A human. A part of nature.

Searching.

I stare at light and darkness dancing a fierce performance, and I wonder how to embrace reality in the way that speaks most to who I am.

In this moment I have a breathing space.

A lightness.

That’s where I love being, but often I feel sadness.

I feel limited.

Yet the universe is this incredibly, expansive, mind-boggling experience. How could I possibly NOT be bursting at my seams with joy?

And again, I dance.